


Konoha Kennels

by GordandV



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Gen, Konoha Kennels, Modern Day, dog kennel, possibly crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4900108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GordandV/pseuds/GordandV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or in which the troubles Hatake Kakashi attempted to fight against follow him home, Umino Iruka just wants to run his kennels in peace, and Tenzo’s life is uprooted, quite literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eight Dogs

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! After reading so much wonderful Naruto fanfiction, V decided to pluck up the courage to post her own with the encouragement of Gord. As Gord put it, "Someone may get a chuckle, and fanfiction is always fun. Good luck, you're your own when you post it" since neither had posted to A03. (They have, however, posted to FFnet in the past.)
> 
> The dog kennel AU that no one asked for.
> 
> (*V currently works at a dog kennel/boarding facility. She has based some of Konoha Kennels after her experiences but has embellished and fictionalized some aspects for the purposes of writing/entertainment.)

Chapter 1: Eight Dogs

“Hatake,” the receptionist repeated to herself as she looked over her computer screen. “Hatake… Hatake… Oh, er…”

“Is there a problem?”

“No, sir, it’s just… You’re checking out eight dogs?”

“Yes.”

“Let me just… uh…” The receptionist looked equal parts embarrassed and flustered as she glanced at a walkie-talkie by her hand and then back at her computer screen while the ever-present blush on her cheeks began to spread. “I just need to…”

“Let me, Moegi.”

“Mr. Umino!” Moegi looked relieved as a man with his hair tied in a high ponytail, carrying a pug in both arms, finished coming down the lobby’s front stairs and walked around the front desk. “I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s fine, Moegi. This is the first time you’ve checked out Mr. Hatake’s dogs, isn’t it?”

Moegi nodded a bit sheepishly.

“Let me show you so you know how to do it next time, alright? You can hold Pakkun.”

Moegi accepted the pug before pushing herself back from the computer. Iruka leaned over slightly in order to better reach the keyboard and mousepad.

“Usual eight?” Iruka asked and glanced up for a moment.

“Yup.”

“You didn’t sneak in Chidori this time?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” Kakashi’s single visible eye turned into an amused half-moon shape. “He got adopted.”

“Anyone I know?” Iruka questioned while he began to type and click in slow-motion in order for Moegi to follow.

“Uchiha Sasuke,” Kakashi continued. “I recommended Konoha Kennels if he ever needed a place to board.”

Iruka’s hands froze and he openly glared at Kakashi while Moegi watched their interaction and held the pug closer to her chest in fear.

“I told you, I don’t want that monster back here. Ever. Do you have any idea how many team leaders it took _just_ to get Chidori in his pen?” Iruka demanded.

“Well-”

“Three, Kakashi. And then I had to step in before someone actually got bit. Three!”

“Chidori’s much better-behaved now,” Kakashi assured. “Or I wouldn’t have let Sasuke adopt him.”

“I had to label him a double red!” Iruka said in exasperation. “There’s no such thing. I was the only person allowed to handle him.” He shook his head. “You’re very lucky I let him to stay here.”

“And I’m very grateful,” Kakashi replied with sincere gratitude and a slight bow. “I can promise you that’s he’s much better. Probably only a yellow now.”

Iruka snorted. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Why is Pakkun out here?” Kakashi asked once Iruka finished checking out.

“Oh, most of the staff have taken to carrying him around when he’s here,” Iruka explained while Moegi handed the pug to him; Iruka removed a thin paper collar and then offered the dog over to Kakashi. “He really doesn’t spend much time in his kennel with Bull, but Bull doesn’t seem to mind. Let me get the rest.”

Moegi watched Iruka reach under the desk for a plastic bin labeled “clean loops” only to find it empty. He sighed and then glanced at Kakashi and then out to the parking lot.

“I’m going to do something illegal,” Iruka informed. “Don’t move.”

He walked out from behind the desk and disappeared behind a door with a sign that read “Employees Only” before returning minutes later with an armful of collars, leashes, and seven other dogs who eagerly squeezed their way through the door to rush Kakashi. Moegi gawked. Iruka pointed with his free hand.

“Bull, Urushi, Shiba, Bisuke, Akino, Uhei, Guruko, and you already met Pakkun,” Iruka informed while the dogs swarmed Kakashi’s legs and whined their pleasure at seeing him. “Moegi, please don’t ever do what I just did.”

“Yes, sir.”

The dogs quickly settled and then sat obediently in a line while Kakashi removed their paper collars; he swapped them with Iruka for the leashes and collars.

“Mr. Hatake has been coming here for years,” Iruka told Moegi while the silver-haired man offered one last wave before opening the “out” door and calling for his dogs; they all got up and walked through the door before piling into a car.

Iruka didn’t add that every time Kakashi came to board he seemed to be missing another body part: he could still remember when the man had been in possession of two good eyes. Yes, even back then, the black bandana wrapped around the lower half of Kakashi’s face had been present, but the strip wrapped around his left eye was an addition. (Iruka made it a point to always have new staff partner with senior staff when he knew Kakashi would be coming, or at least be made aware of their guest’s unique appearance: a few new receptionists had called the police in a panic when they thought they were going to be robbed.)

Pleasantries over the years had not given Iruka any clear indication of what Kakashi did in order to afford and warrant boarding his numerous dogs for weeks at a time: military was what Kakashi’s answers suggested, but Iruka suspected covert ops. More than once, the man had come to pick up his dogs with his arm in a sling or covered from head-to-toe in bandages. But, no matter the time or injury, Kakashi always remained polite and skillfully avoided going into details about his life. And since Iruka couldn’t get a word out of him, he offered his life story in return just to make conversation.

He had (successfully) taught young children of varying grades for a number of years before switching his occupation. One of students, a member of the famed Inuzaka family who were known for all dog related things (breeding, training, you name it), effectively roped Iruka into helping out during a particularly busy winter break at Konoha Kennels when most of the staff had been forced home due to a bad strain of the flu and the man had never looked back.

Dealing with children wasn’t so very much different than dealing with dogs: some were good, some were bad, some would listen, some wouldn’t, and some out of control misbehavers Iruka simply wanted to lock up until they calmed down. (Which he was allowed to do with dogs but not children.) That, and the dogs came with significantly less paperwork: all Iruka needed were vet records for shots and not much else. And after dealing with things that wanted to bite you or pull your arm out of its socket on a walk, dealing with the general public was no problem: Iruka had dealt with helicopter parents and parents who thought their child could do no wrong and some dog owners were just like that using their furry companion as substitute for an actual child. But, as Iruka liked to put it, there was no getting around if a person’s dog had been a brat during their stay. Yes, ma’am, Muffin tried to bite every person that walked into her enclosure. No, sir, you’re highly people and dog aggressive pet was not a pleasure to have. He likes to fence fight and humps everything in sight.

Iruka had transferred his skills and worked his way up to current owner, manager, CEO, whatever the general public wanted to call top of the food chain, and he wasn’t shy about sharing that. He had been bit, scratched, bruised, humped, pulled, slobbered on, and received more butt sniffs than most people got in a lifetime, but it was worth it. Konoha Kennels remained one the best if not the most highly recommended kennel in the country and Iruka had the awards and trophies to prove it. So even if he couldn’t weasel out what one of his customers did for a living, it didn’t bother him. Kakashi’s dogs were model pupils and the man seemed to be an ideal owner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed chapter one.
> 
> I'm sure people are wondering why I chose Iruka of all people to be the top dog at the kennel as opposed to another character who has canonly been associated with dogs, and the simple answer is quite simply, "Just because." I wrote this purely for fun.


	2. Landscaping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Within her fandom explorations, V has found various names/spellings for her precious tree baby: Kinoe, Yamato, and Tenzo/Tenzou. She prefers the Tenzo spelling.

Chapter 2: Landscaping

“Moegi, please, go home,” Iruka pleaded while the orange haired girl blew her nose into a tissue before reaching for another. “You’re sick. You should have called out today.”

“But I’m the only receptionist here today!” Moegi protested, voice already raspy and weak.

Iruka nodded and patted Moegi’s shoulder sympathetically. “I know, but you’re miserable. Please, go home, get some rest, and come back when you’re better.”

“But… but…”

“I’ll stay at the front desk,” Iruka said with a smile.

Moegi seemed unconvinced that Iruka was capable. Their gardener, who had just come in through the front doors, removed his straw hat and headed straight for reception.

“Mr. Umino’s fully capable of answering the phone,” he assured. “He’s very hands-on.”

Most guests had no idea that the man out walking dogs or scooping poop was head dog at Konoha Kennels. Iruka was notorious for assisting varying departments when they needed another pair of hands or when all the paperwork and numbers had been crunched.

“But Mr. Yamato!” Moegi began.

“If you go home now, I’ll bring you ramen for lunch next time you’re here and well,” Yamato weaseled.

“Well… Alright.”

It took only minutes for Moegi to gather her things and leave. Iruka and Yamato waved at her retreating back as she left through the front doors. Iruka took a seat at the front desk and Yamato leaned against the counter. Iruka remained focused on the computer screen as he began to type.

“Yamato, when you’re down with whatever it is you’re currently doing, would you mind looking at A78? One of the staff complained that the door was nearly impossible open and they had to put the dog back in on the run side.” Iruka looked up when the front door opened and he spotted a familiar head of silver hair. He returned his eyes to the computer. “Let me know if you need any help, Rasengan’s in that kennel and he’s hard to get and keep on one side when you try to put the divider down.”

Iruka waited for a comment from Kakashi about Rasengan’s temperament and owner not following-through on training, but none came.

“Hello, Kakashi,” Iruka greeted. “Usual eight checking out, right?”

He lifted his head and then blinked in confusion when he found Kakashi rooted to the floor midway to the desk. Iruka then noticed that Yamato had tensed up and now had a death grip on the counter and seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Kakashi?” Yamato asked.

“Yamato?” Iruka questioned just as Kakashi said, “Tenzo?”

“Yamato?” Kakashi repeated in obvious confusion.

The man in question nodded and relaxed slightly.

“You work here?” Kakashi said.

“Yamato’s our gardener,” Iruka offered slowly. “And handyman. You know Kakashi, Yamato?”

Yamato seemed hesitant to answer but he nodded. “We know each other.”

“Oh, really?” Iruka did his best to sound cheerful despite the oddness the two were displaying: neither moved or said another word. They simply continued to stare at one another. “How so?”

Kakashi seemed to recover quicker and his eye closed in what Iruka knew to be amusement.

“We used to work together,” he explained. “I had no idea you were here now, Tenzo. I’ve been coming for years and never once saw you.”

“He works behind the scenes usually,” Iruka said. “About five years now, isn’t it, Yamato?”

Yamato nodded.

“You cut your hair, Tenzo” Kakashi said bluntly, and Yamato raised a hand to his short cropped brown hair in a motion that was more muscle memory than consciously made.

“Oh, er, yes. I did.”

“Tenzo?” Iruka asked.

“A nickname,” Yamato said quickly. “Kakashi, why are you here?”

Kakashi pointed at Iruka. “I’m picking up my dogs.”

“Your…?”

“You work at a kennel, Yamato” Kakashi reminded in an oddly firm voice. “I have dogs that need to be boarded when I go to… work.”

“Ah, yes.” Yamato laughed and then smiled at Kakashi before turning around. “I’ll go have a look at that kennel now, Iruka.”

“Actually, would you mind helping me get Kakashi’s dogs?” Iruka asked. “He has eight.”

“Of course not.” Yamato rested his hat on the desk.

“H hallway,” Iruka said. “They’re all green dogs, very friendly.”

“Can I get all of them at once?” Yamato questioned and Iruka pondered for a moment before offering a shrug.

“If you’re comfortable doing that,” he replied.

Yamato nodded and then headed for a door. Kakashi closed the distance himself between the front desk.

“How is he?” the silver haired man asked. “Yamato, I mean.”

Iruka rolled his eyes as he began clicking away at the computer, faint smile on his face. “You can always ask him that yourself, you know.”

“I didn’t mean… I just…”

Iruka paused and looked up. Despite only a fourth of Kakashi’s face being visible, worry was etched across it.

“Yamato’s fine,” Iruka said a bit unsurely. “At least, as far as I can tell. He’s one of my best workers: good with dogs and people and can fix anything I ask him to. That, and he’s got the best green thumb I’ve ever seen. Do you have any idea how many people come in here that don’t even own dogs and ask who does the landscaping?”

Kakashi smiled. “That’s nice to hear.”

Yamato returned with four leashes in each hand. Kakashi accepted them and the two stared at one another for a few seconds before Kakashi took a step back.

“Well, see you around, Tenzo. Thanks again, Iruka.”

“Bye, Kakashi.” Iruka raised a hand. “See you soon?”

Kakashi nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed chapter two, drop a kudo or comment to let V know. Chapter three to follow.
> 
> V will admit that Tenzo is her favorite character, although when she was a young teenager and first began watching Naruto on Cartoon Network and didn't yet know what anime was, Kakashi was the apple of her eye. She still doesn't understand how either character with such complicated and tragic pasts turned out as... normal as they did. Especially Tenzo.


	3. Avoid Mentioning Anything Personal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this afternoon.
> 
> And a plea from V: please, please, please, if you own a dog, do your best to train it. V doesn't expect perfection from dogs when they're in a stressful environment, (surrounded by other barking dogs and strange people), but one of the dogs at her kennel had to be sent home today with a refusal note. AKA, the dog is too dangerous to handle so it isn't allowed back. Period. Make sure your puppies are properly socialized with other dogs and people! The kennel can't do much when even the most experienced dog handlers aren't able to open the kennel door, let alone loop the dog for a walk.

Chapter 3: Avoid Mentioning Anything Personal

Iruka kept an eye on Yamato following Kakashi’s reunion with the younger man out of pure curiosity rather than worry: the two had worked together in the past, but what work they did Iruka didn’t have a clue. In fact, now that he thought about it, Iruka knew as much about Yamato as he did about Kakashi, which wasn’t much.

Yamato had been recommended after Iruka mentioned needing to hire a new handyman. The fact that he doubled as an excellent gardener had been a bonus. And that fact that he was also good with dogs was a godsend: Iruka didn’t know how many times Yamato had gone to fetch red departure dogs when team leaders had been busy. Other than that, the man was a mystery. In fact, Iruka realized, he knew even less about Yamato (Tenzo?) than he did Kakashi. Had Iruka not made an effort to get to know his employee? No, Iruka chastised himself, he had tried, but Yamato (and Iruka nearly kicked himself) had skillfully avoided mentioning anything personal about himself in the five years he had worked for Konoho Kennels. Just like Kakashi did.

Iruka understood privacy and people’s needs for it, but Kakashi and Yamato were downright secretive. It was strange now that Iruka recognized the pattern and made a conscious effort to pay attention to both of them: why either man was so intent of remaining mysterious about his life or work (or previous work) didn’t seem like it would ever be answered. Both men continued to exist as they had before they had been reunited, although Yamato now seemed to spend more time in the lobby and Kakashi made it a point to ask after Yamato when he checked in and out.

And that was that. And after a few weeks, Iruka forgot all about how Kakashi and Tenzo had all but frozen up when they had spotted one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed chapter three, drop a kudo or comment to let V know. Chapter four to follow.


	4. Input and Opinions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the last short chapter, here's one with some action!

Chapter 4: Input and Opinions

“Mr. Hatake! A moment, please?”

Kakashi looked over his shoulder when he found Iruka coming down the front stairs, ponytail ends swishing between his shoulder blades. The man looked especially managerial today in a long-sleeved shirt with the company’s logo emblazoned across it and khakis, although Kakashi suspected the green windbreaker vest Iruka wore was not dress code. (Not that Iruka was prone to following dress code: Kakashi rarely saw him in anything other than a loose t-shirt and jeans. Although as top dog, Kakashi suspected no one could force dress code on the person who presumably enforced it.)

The receptionists greeted Iruka and he returned the gestures in kind before he strode over to Kakashi. Iruka looked especially pleased (the scar across the bridge of his nose and reaching out to each cheek was crinkled ever so slightly from the man’s smile) and he welcomed Kakashi warmly before glancing at the front desk.

“Dropping off?” he asked.

Kakashi nodded. “Yes, but not mine. I’m doing a favor for Naruto.”

Iruka pursed his lips.

“Uzumaki?” Kakashi suggested.

“Oh, Rasengan,” Iruka said in understanding. “I’m afraid I’m not good with people’s first names.”

Kakashi nodded. “Something I can do for you?” He asked while Iruka steered him toward one of the multiple doors in the lobby that led to varying areas of the kennel.

“Do you have a few minutes?” Iruka questioned. “I don’t want to keep you if you have something to do.”

Kakashi shrugged and tucked his hands into his pockets. “I’m free.”

“Excellent!” Iruka clapped his hands together. “As a VIP at Konoha Kennels-”

“VIP?” Kakashi interrupted wryly.

Iruka nodded. “You’ve boarded with us for how many years now? Attended how many events sponsored and held by us? Given how many people recommendations to come here for boarding or daycare or grooming or training?”

“Lots?” Kakashi suggested.

“Exactly.” Iruka nodded to himself. “You’re a VIP, and I was hoping to get your input and opinions on a few things.”

“Me?”

Iruka nodded and pushed open a door labeled “Employees Only” before motioning impatiently to Kakashi.

“You’ve given us such great feedback in the past I was hoping for more.”

“I see.” Kakashi didn’t, but he pretended to.

Iruka led him through what seemed to be a maze of kennels and corridors, talking all the while.

“I just got done with a meeting,” Iruka explained: he kept pausing by kennels and sticking his fingers through the bars which Kakashi knew was a no-no, but none of the dogs did anything more than sniff and lick the offered digits. “We were thinking about expanding.”

“Oh?” Kakashi sounded interested.

Iruka rambled on about numbers and guest relationships and input until he finally led Kakashi out a side door, through a metal gate, and into the woods that surrounded Konoha Kennels. They walked until the building was out of view and Iruka suddenly stopped. He turned around and held his arms out.

“So, how do you think your dogs would feel about an even longer nature trail or outdoor kennel? Only during the day, of course, with supervision.”

Kakashi nodded and looked around at the trees: it was certainly a pretty spot, very quiet, and the slight breeze was quite nice.

“An outdoor kennel sounds like a good idea,” he replied.

A branch cracked somewhere off in the distance.

“It’d be nice for the dogs to get some more fresh air aside from their walks,” Kakashi continued.

Iruka nodded and put a hand on his hip. He turned his face up to the overhanging tree branches and slivers of sky.

“Daycare was toying with the idea of possibly getting their own building, but I thought it’d be better if Konoha Kennels did something all the dogs could enjoy,” Iruka said. “So yes to outdoor kennels?”

Kakashi smiled and nodded. Iruka returned his eyes to Kakashi and opened his mouth to speak when one of the thick pine branches above him suddenly snapped and fell. Iruka’s gaze went to the sound and he didn’t have to react. Kakashi, however, did.

Iruka sat up slightly and both hands went to his forehead where a rapidly growing and already bleeding lump was forming. He continued to swear and barely felt Kakashi let go of his waist from where the man had all but tackled Iruka out of harm’s way and headfirst into the nearest pine tree. The thick branch lay where Iruka had previously been standing.

“Sorry,” Kakashi apologized while he stood up and brushed himself off before crouching and holding Iruka’s face in his hands. “But I thought that was better than getting your neck snapped.”

Iruka couldn’t quite get his mouth to work once his tirade was over. Blood continued to trickle down over one eye and across his face. Pain radiated from the lump and he winced and closed his eyes when Kakashi gently prodded the skin around the bump before requesting, quite nicely, for Iruka to open his eyes.

“Dizzy?” Kakashi asked. “Nauseous?”

Iruka dipped his head a fraction of an inch.

“Concussion then, probably,” Kakashi diagnosed. “Your pupils are a little uneven. But, still, better than being dead, right?”

Iruka wanted to agree yes, that this was better than being dead, and he wanted to thank Kakashi for his amazing reflexes, but the pounding in his head and blood dripping onto his shirt made it nearly impossible for Iruka to verbalize. Nearly.

“The fuck is that?” Iruka ground out while he squinted his eyes and stared accusingly at another pine tree beyond Kakashi’s shoulder where something that looked suspiciously like a person leaned against the trunk high up in the limbs.

“Oh, shit.”

Kakashi’s hand went to the ever-present tan pack he wore on his lower back while the other went to a much smaller case strapped to the side of his leg, held in place by a single clean strip of white cloth. Kakashi spun around. The sound of metal clashing against metal echoed in the forest and sparks appeared in the air in front of Kakashi before a number of throwing stars embedded themselves in the surrounding trees and ground. Iruka remained on the ground and watched Kakashi throw a kunai with some type of paper tag attached to it. The metal bit into a tree limb before exploding. Kakashi raised the kunai held in his other hand and backed up until he was standing over Iruka in a defensive position.

“Keep your head down,” he instructed. “I have no idea how many there… are…”

Iruka took note of the half a dozen or so figures perched in the tree limbs. Clearly, he and Kakashi were outnumbered.

“Cornered and out of options,” one of the people said loudly. “No place to hide this time, Kakashi.”

Iruka glimpsed a number of throwing stars, far too many for Kakashi to deflect, flying at him and the other man before the ground began to shake. Something large popped up from the dirt and Iruka could heard the solid “thunk, thunk, thunk” of each shuriken as they struck a solid wooden wall. Kakashi didn’t surprised by the supernatural event that had just saved their lives and he looked over his shoulder as if he was expecting someone to appear.

“Tenzo!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed chapter four, drop a kudo or comment to let V know. Chapter five to follow.


	5. Wood Style

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V may have taken a few artistic liberties with Wood Style in this chapter just because it's. So. Cool.

Chapter 5: Wood Style

Despite the blinding pain in his head, Iruka could have never mistaken his gardener as the man seemed to appear out of nowhere and rushed toward him and Kakashi. Yamato didn’t pause: he leapt over Iruka, landed on the top of the wooden wall, and then braced his arm with the opposing hand.

Iruka did his best to wipe the blood from his eye because surely he was seeing things: there was no way Tenzo’s entire _arm_ had turned into a tree. Kakashi didn’t seem bothered: he waited for the wooden wall to sink back into the ground before turning around so that his back faced Yamato’s, kunai still poised and held in the air.

“Any idea who they are?” Yamato asked.

“Sound,” Kakashi replied. “They aimed for Iruka first. No idea why.”

Yamato made a noncommittal noise. He shifted his stance and then raised his head to track the people moving about the branches with apparent ease.

“Do you need them alive?” Yamato questioned.

Iruka couldn’t help but jump when the end of a log shot overhead and then up: trees were not supposed to move that way, and branches that massive were not physically capable of changing angles that quickly. He followed the brown limb through a series of complicated twists and turns (and were those more kunai and shurkien stuck in the bark?) and found himself connecting the branch back to Tenzo’s outstretched arm. Which still quite wasn’t an arm. It was a limb. A tree limb.

Kakashi shook his head. “Just one for interrogation. Can you keep it quiet?”

Yamato nodded. The ever-expanding branch above retracted.

And what was Yamato doing with his hands, Iruka wondered.

A series of much smaller and slender branches exploded out and began looping and rushing around to each tree while Yamato turned his head this way and that, dark eyes slightly narrowed in concentration.

“What do you call this one?” Kakashi asked with genuine curiosity as if he was out having a picnic instead of being attacked.

“Silent Strangle,” Yamato replied.

Iruka leaned over and threw up when he heard noises that were no doubt the sound of necks being snapped and bodies being crushed. Or perhaps that was the concussion making him sick.

“Captain?” Yamato asked.

“Are we safe to move?” Kakashi said.

Yamato nodded. “Enemy has been neutralized. I have one prisoner.” His voice softened. “What about Iruka?”

Kakashi stowed his kunai and then glanced at Yamato. He sighed and slumped.

“Guess there’s no choice…”

Iruka held both his hands up and closed his eyes just as Kakashi removed the strip of black cloth that hid his left eye.

“What was that?” Iruka demanded.

“I call it Wood Style,” Yamato offered vaguely.

“How?” the manager demanded desperately.

“Iruka?” Kakashi asked gently.

“What?” Iruka snapped; he opened his eyes and then froze when he met Kakashi’s eyes.

Well, not eyes. Eye. Singular. Blood red with a black pinwheel-ish shape which began to slowly rotate. Iruka slumped almost instantly. A single thin wooden limb caught the man before he could face-plant.

“Now what, Captain?” Yamato questioned while his arm began to right itself and get rid of excess branches: a few tendrils remained and one encasing a squirming body lowered.

“Cleanup,” Kakashi replied as he covered his left eye and tied the cloth back in place. “Interrogation. And we should probably explain some of this to Iruka.”

“‘We?’” Yamato repeated.

“Well, you are the one who can spontaneously turn your arm into a tree,” Kakashi replied. “And I suppose I’ll have to tell Iruka about _this_ now that he’s seen it.” Kakashi pointed at his covered eye. He sighed. “This is troublesome.”

“Tell me about it,” Yamato muttered. “I didn’t get to finish hanging my planters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and thank you to all those who left kudos! If AO3 is correct, this story has received almost 100 hits. Wow! V knows this doesn't necessarily mean people actually READ her fanfiction, but the thought that some do is nice. Leave a comment or kudo to let V know if you read and enjoyed.
> 
> Chapter six to follow.


	6. Icepacks and ANBU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of talking and explanations in this chapter, but hopefully it's interesting.

Chapter 6: Icepacks and ANBU

Iruka came to slowly. He felt gentle hands wrapping something around his head before he was settled against something soft. His first instinct was couch given his mostly upright position and material pressed against his cheek.

“Careful, cold,” Kakashi’s voice warned, and Iruka hissed when something icy pressed against his forehead.

Both eyes snapped open and he glared at Kakashi before raising his hand to hold an icepack in place against the carefully covered and wrapped lump.

“Feel any better?” Kakashi asked.

Iruka contemplated the question and then nodded. Kakashi got up from his kneeling position beside the couch and all but collapsed into an overstuffed reclining chair. Iruka noticed a fully stocked medical kit sitting on the floor beside the couch he was resting on and then blinked at the occupied loveseat across from himself.

Yamato was spread out on it, legs hanging over one arm of the couch with some dreadful blue and pink monstrosity of a blanket covering him from the waist down. Both bare arms were crossed across his chest and the neck of his dark blue turtleneck was pulled up to chin. He seemed to be fast asleep despite the dripping white washcloth draped across his forehead.

“Tenzo, you awake?” Kakashi called.

“Mhm.” Tenzo cracked an eye. “Tired.”

“Overdid it?”

“Mhm. You?”

“Little bit. My eye and head are killing me.” Kakashi buried his face into a pillow and groaned. “Iruka, you still with us?”

“For now.” Iruka got comfortable against the couch back and changed the hand holding the icepack in place against his head. He stiffened in sudden realization. “The kennels-”

“Fine,” Kakashi said.

“My employees-”

“Think you went home after your meeting in order to brainstorm and digest. They have no idea what happened.”

“My head?”

“Minor concussion. You’ll have to take it easy for a week or two, but you’ll make a full recovery.”

“And you two?” Iruka questioned.

“We’ll live,” Kakashi concluded. He stretched and then rolled onto his back. “I suppose you’re waiting for some explanation?”

“That would be nice,” Iruka replied with a wince as he shifted the ice. He glanced suspiciously at Yamato.

“Tenzo’s not going to hurt you,” Kakashi assured with a slight chuckle. “He’s harmless.”

“Don’t lie to Mr. Umino, Captain,” Tenzo said while he dragged his wrist across his eyes. “He saw what I did, I’m the exact opposite of harmless. I’m a weapon.”

“Talented,” Kakashi corrected. “You’re not a thing.” He returned his attention to Iruka. “I am, Tenzo _was_ , part of ANBU.”

“Oh.” Iruka swallowed.

ANBU, the country’s most prized and secretive organization that supposedly did more behind the scenes than any civilian would ever know in order to ensure public safety through assassinations, covert operations, espionage, you name it. (And made for excellent writing material given the mysterious nature surrounding ANBU and lack of concrete facts about it: ANBU novels were a genre all its own.)

“I lost my eye during an ANBU mission,” Kakashi continued.

Iruka frowned. “But you have an eye,” he said unsurely. “It was red. I saw it.”

“Not my eye.” Kakashi pulled up the black strip of but kept his eyelid closed for a few more seconds. “It happened during one my first missions. There was a bad rock-climbing accident, and I came home with this instead of being dead. And with two fewer teammates.”

Iruka flinched underneath the piercing scarlet gaze. Despite the urge to look away, he simply couldn’t. Kakashi closed his eye and covered it again. Iruka squirmed in relief.

“You ever watch those sci-fi television shows or read those books that speculate what being in ANBU means?” Kakashi asked. “What some of the missions are?”

Iruka shrugged. “Some seem pretty unbelievable. Fantasy with just a hint of reality.”

“It’s more like the other way around,” Kakashi explained. He pointed at his eye. “This is one of those things that blurs the two together. My friend called it the Sharingan.”

“That’s… not your eye?” Iruka repeated slowly with just a hint of revulsion.

“Technically, no,” Kakashi replied. “But it’s mine now. It was a present.”

Iruka looked disturbed.

“I’m a lab experiment,” Yamato offered casually from the loveseat.

“You worked in a lab?” Iruka asked.

“No,” Yamato clarified. “I’m a lab experiment. I lived a giant test tube.”

Iruka didn’t know how to react. But Yamato didn’t seem upset talking about his past.

“All those things you saw me do with wood are a direct result of being implanted with abnormal cells,” Yamato continued. “I was the only survivor. I don’t have any memories of before I was kidnapped.” He paused and raised a hand to shift the washcloth. “After Kakashi found me, I joined ANBU for a time.”

“What happened?” Iruka dared to question.

Yamato shrugged. “I served for a few years before ANBU deemed me ‘unstable’ and ‘a liability’ to their operations.” He snorted. “I was too valuable to destroy-” Yamato’s voice suggested that ANBU wouldn’t have been able to even if they had wanted. “-so they got me a new identity.”

“And now you’re my gardener and my handyman,” Iruka finished lamely.

“You can understand why we were so shocked to see one another again,” Kakashi added. “What are the odds Tenzo got a job at the kennel that I’ve been using for years?”

“So you do actually use Konoha Kennels as a kennel?” Iruka wondered.

“As opposed to using it for what?” Kakashi said.

“I don’t know, some alternative ANBU thing,” Iruka suggested.

“No, those are really my dogs, and yes, I do really board them there when I have to leave on extended missions,” Kakashi said. “You really are the best in the business.”

Iruka smiled faintly at the praise. He looked around when no one seemed inclined to continue. Nothing appeared out of place. In fact, it looked like he was sitting in a very ordinary living room, although some of the décor seemed out of place: there were framed weapons that looked like they might have been used and small picture frames filled with scraps of burned and torn papers. Otherwise, normal.

“Where are we?” Iruka asked.

“My house,” Tenzo replied. “It was closest. And less crowded.”

“Iruka works with dogs all day,” Kakashi said dismissively. “I don’t think he would have minded mine.”

“I wouldn’t have,” Iruka assured. “You’re dogs are some of the best-behaved.”

“See, Tenzo?”

Iruka fiddled with the icepack and then swallowed.

“What… what happened to the people who attacked us? Why did they do it in the first place?”

Yamato and Kakashi exchanged a look. Kakashi answered.

“ANBU’s purpose is to keep the country safe by any means necessary. Other countries have radical thinkers with too much power and overeager underlings. I’ve been trying to stop that.” Kakashi paused. “I thought I had been careful when I came home, but apparently not. I was followed.”

“Why attack me?” Iruka snorted softly. “I run a dog kennel, I’m not connected to ANBU.”

“Not anymore,” Yamato added.

Kakashi glared with his good eye and then shrugged. “Aside from the airport and grocery store, Konoha Kennels is the only other place I really go to. The soldiers thought they could take a cheap shot at me by getting you.”

“And what happened to them?” Iruka didn’t sound convinced that he wanted to know.

“Dead,” Tenzo replied. “I took care of all of them. Except one.”

Iruka swallowed again. “And that one?”

“Interrogated,” Kakashi said. “Then killed.”

Iruka shuddered.

“Don’t worry, we properly disposed of all the bodies,” Tenzo said. “You don’t have to worry about finding anything when you’re out surveying the land.”

“Oh, uh… thank you?” Iruka sounded unsure of himself. “No. Thank you. For that. And for saving me. Thank you. I don’t how I can repay you.”

“No need.” Kakashi stretched. “It’s our job. That, and you’re the only person who willingly accepts Chidori for boarding.”

Iruka rolled his eyes. “Chidori is bad, and he’s still the only double red I’ve ever had, but if he was _that_ bad I would just refuse him. I’ve had to refuse other dogs due to their behavior.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Konoha Kennels has breached the 100 hits mark. WOW. V is pleasantly surprised and can't quite believe it. Thank you everyone who left a comment or kudo, they make V's day when she sees/reads them.
> 
> On another note: since V posts chapters about every 2 days, she has almost caught up to what to has written so far. Future posts may be spaced further apart. (Especially since it's a holiday weekend and V's kennel is filled. She has to work longer hours which means less time for typing.)
> 
> Chapter seven to follow.


	7. You Carry Mace?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly shorter chapter today, but a chapter nonetheless!
> 
> V survived the holiday rush weekend but ended up working overtime. She slept for over 10 hours on her day off.

Chapter 7: You Carry Mace?

It was almost easy lying about a dog jumping at its kennel door and the door swinging open to hit Iruka in the head in order to take a few days off to recover: multiple people had gone home early or gone to the emergency room after biting their tongues when dogs had jumped and hit them in the face. But even if lying was easy, Iruka still felt unsure about the entire “incident” and had felt reluctant to take some time off to rest. But both Kakashi and Yamato insisted that Konoha Kennels was no more at-risk than it had been before, although if it made Iruka feel better, they would ask ANBU to take a few patrols and keep an eye out.

Iruka pulled a side door closed and then glanced at his watch: almost ten at night. He tested the door handle to ensure it was closed fully and locked and then fumbled for his car keys in his pocket: he certainly felt better, but after a long day in the office, his head was aching. It had happened every day since had returned, and while the pain lessened each day, it was still irritating to go home every night with an aching head.

All the dogs at Konoha Kennels had been taken out for their final walk, the doors locked, and last rounds made, leaving Iruka the last to leave as of nine-thirty that night. He swore when he dropped his keys and bent over to pick them up. He jumped when he stood back up and found someone just inches from him.

“For fuck’s sake, Yamato! Don’t do that!”

Iruka barely resisted the urge to shove the person that had seemingly popped up out of nowhere; given the overhang and metal fence that surrounded the side door, Iruka suspected Yamato might have done just that.

“Sorry.” Yamato didn’t sound very sorry as he removed his white cat mask.

“You know that when Kakashi first did that, I almost maced him,” Iruka informed irritably while Yamamto opened the gate to let them both out.

“You carry mace?”

“Well, no. But I did try to punch him.”

The two stepped out into the gravel parking lot and headed for the single lone car. The gate closed behind with a soft click.

“How did that go? Punching Kakashi, that is,” Yamato asked.

“I missed.” Iruka sounded upset at the wasted opportunity. “But to be fair, sneaking up on someone after a long day at work in the dark when they think they’re all alone is not something normal people do. Are you sure you and Kakashi aren’t stalkers?”

“Definitely not,” Yamato replied with a smile. “Just ANBU.”

Iruka looked his gardener up and down before raising an eyebrow. “They let you keep your uniform?” he asked suspiciously as he looked at the white flak vest and mask.

“Yes.”

“And weapons?”

“I _am_ a weapon,” Yamato reminded. “They can take away my knives and throwing stars, but they can’t take away my abilities or stop me from going on the internet.”

Iruka looked flabbergasted. Yamato moved the hand not holding his cat mask to his lower back. He offered a kunai. Iruka tentatively took it by the handle and eyed the sharp point.

“These are easy to buy,” Yamato explained. “I bought a twelve-pack.”

“You make this sound so normal,” Iruka muttered. “Weapons, and assassinations, and spying.”

“It is normal. For me that is.” Yamato took the knife back. “I’m still surprised you’re not terrified of me or Kakashi.”

Iruka couldn’t help but laugh. “I work with things that might want to bite or maul me on a regular basis. It takes more than a few pointy things to scare me.”

Yamato didn’t seem convinced.

“I’m not scared,” Iruka continued. “Just understandably cautious. That, and I’m sure one of you can smell fear.”

The two finished the walk to the car in silence. Iruka opened the front driver’s side door and then looked at Yamato.

“Is there a reason why you decided to startle me tonight?” he asked.

Yamato nodded. He offered a large manila envelope. Iruka had no idea where the man had hid it.

“A summary of the security measures Kakashi and myself have taken or will take to protect Konoha Kennels,” Yamato said.

Iruka nodded and then frowned.

“You’ve done more that you aren’t telling me.” It wasn’t a question.

Yamato merely smiled.

“Why couldn’t you have given me this tomorrow?” Iruka demanded while he held up the file. “At work?”

Yamato stepped back and replaced his mask. He raised his hand and then disappeared in a puff of white smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed chapter seven, drop a kudo or comment to let V know. (V only has one more "complete" chapter ready which means updates will continue to be further apart.)
> 
> Chapter eight to follow.
> 
> *Gord and V saw Boruto: Naruto the Movie last night. They went as ANBU Kakashi and Tenzo and had a fantastic time. They highly recommend going to see it if you want a fun movie. (And Sasuke finally got to be in a movie! When was the last time he appeared for more than 5 minutes? Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow?)


	8. Closing Shifts and Mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inappropriate use of Wood Style ahead.

Chapter 8: Closing Shifts and Mistletoe

Normalcy, from a business perspective, was a good thing. Iruka liked normalcy. He liked knowing when Kononha Kennels would be booked to full capacity or when the few dogs being boarded would allow for more intensive cleaning activities. (Because if someone didn’t warm him that Yamato was going to spread out a piece of plywood on top of the second-level kennels and then put a ladder on _top_ of the wood in order to reach the lights, he was going to have a heart attack.) Normalcy meant no surprises. No surprises were a good thing. (Not counting surprise parties, of course. Although Iruka almost, _almost_ regretted Yamato’s surprise party for his sixth anniversary of joining Konoha Kennels: the man had been downright startled by the staff shouting “happy anniversary!” when he had walked into the staff lounge for a cup of coffee, and between the look in his eyes and sudden step back and raised arm, Yamato had been this close to whipping someone in the head with a branch. Iruka made a note not to surprise the man anymore; all his parties would be planned and announced well in advance.)

But, Iruka knew, even normalcy could mean chaos. Like the chaos that surrounded any major holiday when people dropped their dogs off for long vacations or trips to visit family. And even when Iruka knew Konoha Kennels would be booked and all departments would have full staff rosters with extra seasonal hands, there was only so much that could be done in preparation for housing and managing over two-hundred dogs and fifty cats. (Although the cats were certainly easier to care for: they didn’t need to be walked, and most cats were content to sit in their little temporary homes and sleep and preferred to no be bothered by strangers.)

“Excited for Christmas?” Yamamto asked with a lopsided grin while Iruka sunk into a chair inside his office.

Every month he held a staff meeting, but this one had lacked the man’s usual vigor and excitement; rush periods took it out everyone, and Iruka was just thankful he still had all ten fingers intact.

“Ecstatic,” Iruka deadpanned.

Yamato leaned against Iruka’s desk and continued to smile.

“You should be very proud of everyone,” he said. “We did fantastic.”

“I know, and I am,” Iruka replied with a sigh while he sunk down in his chair and covered his face with his hands. “I’m so proud and pleased with how we did, but I’m just so damn tired. Everyone is. I want to go home and sleep for a week.”

Iruka wasn’t sure there _wasn’t_ a person who hadn’t worked overtime this rush period. He knew for a fact that he had worked over eighty hours and Yamato had stayed from opening to closing quite a few days just to help out where he could.

“You should send everyone home early,” Yamato said. “Once the lobby closes.”

Iruka dropped his hands in order to yawn into them. “Why?”

“Like you said, everyone’s exhausted.”

Iruka resisted the urge to rest his head on his desk. He smiled faintly and both hands fells to his lap.

“While I’d love to do that, I still need to have a few people close and finish night walks.”

“I’ll do it,” Yamato offered.

“Do what?”

“Close.”

Iruka sat up and propped his elbow on his desk. He rested his chin in his hand and blinked slowly.

“I don’t follow,” he said.

“I’ll close,” Yamato repeated.

“How?” Iruka asked in confusion: even during the slow season, there was usually a minimum of four or so staff members who did night walks and once those were done, only two people remained to do last rounds and lockup. “You’ll never get everything done before ten.”

Yamato raised an eyebrow. “You can turn the security cameras off, right?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Then let me close tonight.”

Iruka nodded hesitantly. “Alright, but I’m staying to close with you then.”

“Sounds good.”

Yamato stepped over to the doorjamb and reached one hand up as if he were leaning against it. He tapped his index finger against the frame and Iruka watched the digit begin to stretch and turn brown.

“See you tonight,” Yamato said before slipping out.

Iruka continued to stare at the tiny sprig of mistletoe hung above his door that had not been there before. He barely registered the knock on his open door as Moegi peeked around the corner.

“Mr. Umino,” she began before turning her attention up at what Iruka was looking at. “Oh, you started putting up the winter decorations already? Should I go get the menorah for the front window?”

“No, Moegi, the decorations can wait.” Iruka forced himself to smile. “What can I do for you?”

Nighttime couldn’t come fast enough. Iruka, if he was being totally honest with himself, was equal parts curious and anxious about what Yamato had planned for the closing shift. The manager forced himself to breathe in deeply before exhaling slowly. He offered a brief wave at Yamato when the gardener appeared from around a corner and then ducked.

“The cameras are off,” Iruka informed while he gathered his hair on top of his head before standing up straight and tying his ponytail in place. “And the building is deserted except for us two and all the animals. I made sure.”

“Thank you.”

“What exactly are you planning on doing?” Iruka asked while Yamato approached the list of dogs who needed their last walk of the night.

“Closing?” Yamato answered a bit unsurely. “Is this a trick question?”

Iruka shook his head. “I’m just curious how you’re going to do it all by yourself.”

Yamato smiled at the multiple pages taped to the wall. He looked over his shoulder to Iruka.

“First things first,” Yamato said. He stepped back and stretched both arms above his head. “All the dogs need their water dishes filled to the top.”

Iruka nodded. He followed Yamato to one of the ground floor kitchens and accompanying large sink. He watched Yamato turn the faucet on and then tap the metal counter.

“You should er… it’ll be better if you’re not in my way,” Yamato said.

Iruka hopped onto the counter and swung his legs a bit. He smirked.

“And how exactly do you plan on watering all the dogs without using one of our nifty watering cans?” he challenged. “Even the lodging department sometimes needs help with this at night.”

Yamato rolled his eyes. “You’re sure all the cameras are off and we’re alone?”

“Definitely.”

“Then watch and learn.”

Yamato clapped his hands together, made a series of strange gestures, and then held one arm out. Iruka watched multiple slender branches shoot out and away and he heard the faint creak of the doors as they were opened. Another piece of wood sneaked around Yamato’s side and opened into a funnel-like shape beneath the running sink.

“Tubes,” Iruka said as he looked between the faucet and the branches. “You made tubes. But how do you know where to send them?”

Yamato shrugged. “I just do.”

“How are you going to reach the second floor?” Iruka wondered.

The funnel’s open top engulfed the spout. Iruka nodded.

“I think I can see where night walks are going now.”

It was quite a sight to see dogs wrapped up in vine-like harnesses made from branches. Each canine was neatly spaced from the next and connected to a single main branch. It looked like some strange centipede. Sort of.

“Still nervous?” Yamato asked while the dogs walked past.

“No. Just confused.” Iruka had his hands on his knees. “How do you… That is to say…”

Iruka couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the fact that every branch snaking its way around the two-story building all connected back to the single limb that was currently Yamato’s arm. And each limb around each dog was solely dedicated to its task. That was incredible multitasking.

“I mean… Where do you even start?”

None of the dogs seemed upset of their wooden harnesses. In fact, some seemed downright delighted by their new chew toys.

“Does that hurt?” Iruka asked with a wince when a black German Shepherd passed with a branch clenched between its teeth and its tail wagging happily; the branch seemed to be a protrusion from the main limb, and that limb remained connected back to Yamato.

“No.”

“What if someone cut off the limb?” Iruka asked. “Would you lose your arm?”

“No.”

“Can you make other things?”

“Like what?” Yamato seemed amused by Iruka’s questions as he glanced over his shoulder.

“I don’t know. What can’t you make?”

Yamato shrugged. “I made a house once.”

“A… house?” Iruka snorted in disbelief.

“Kakashi dared me to on a mission,” Yamato explained. “I’ve always been able to make emergency shelters, little huts and domes and things, but I study architecture for fun and he demanded I put my knowledge to use. I did.”

“Like a real house?”

“Made of wood, of course.”

“Wow.” Iruka nodded. “Very impressive. Could you make a Christmas tree?”

Yamato nodded slowly. “I don’t see why not. Why?”

“Since you seem more willing to display your abilities, I thought the lobby could use a winter makeover,” Iruka supplied. “I have no idea how long Konoha Kennels has had their tree and other decorations. It might be nice to try something new. If you wanted to, that is.”

“We’ll see.”

Night walks finished in record time. Iruka applauded when Yamato drew his arm back and it returned to normal. Yamato offered a mock bow before taking a seat on the floor with a loud exhale.

“Tired?” Iruka questioned from the counter.

“A bit. I’m not used to having to be so precise.” Yamato stretched. “This was good practice.”

“Thank you for closing, but I think we need to follow everyone else’s lead and head home.”

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed chapter eight, drop a kudo or comment to let V know.
> 
> While V was typing the early chapters of Konoha Kennels, Gord randomly suggested (demanded) that Yamato hang mistletoe in some fashion. If the man can make an entire two-story house in under a minute, V doesn’t see the problem with him creating tiny (possibly wooden) plants for decoration.
> 
> And considering the fact that Yamato can make waterfalls and humungous tree limbs for arms and remain upright, V thinks it’s alright to downsize his powers for practical uses. Like watering dogs.
> 
> Chapter nine to follow.


	9. Jia Dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short and slightly silly chapter today.

Chapter 9: Jia Dogs

“Yamato!”

Yamato paused in the lobby, plotted plant in his arms, and found a very harried Iruka heading his way.

“I need your help.”

Iruka usually looked put together even when he was dressed casually, but his hair was falling from its ponytail and there was a flush of red across the bridge of his nose and accompanying scar.

“Uh, sure. What can I do for you?” Yamato asked with caution.

“I need you go get the Jia dogs,” Iruka replied hurriedly. “Baoyu, Daiyu, Baochai, and Xi-feng.”

“Why me?” Yamato put his plant down on the floor and then brushed his hands against his jeans.

Iruka rolled his eyes. “The Jias think they’re royalty. They very, very picky about everything and don’t like anyone under twenty-five handling their dogs.”

Yamato frowned. “Most of our staff are high school and college students.”

“I know, I know.” Iruka grabbed his hair with one hand and looked around the lobby wildly. “But Grandmother Jia just called and she’ll be here in ten minutes.”

“So?”

Iruka deflated. “The dogs were supposed to be picked up in two days. No one called ahead to say they were going to be picked up early, I don’t have anything ready.”

Iruka looked like he was possibly on the verge of losing his temper. Or cool. Or tears.

“Tell me what to do,” Yamato said calmly.

“I need you to bring Baoyu and Daiyu out as a pair,” Iruka began. “Baochai has to come next, and Xi-feng has to come out last. Xi-feng is feisty, so be careful. They all need their regular collars and leashes put on, but the Jias are very particular about that. There should be notes on all that for you to follow.”

“Alright.”

“And when you do bring them out… Just ignore whatever the Jias say,” Iruka said with a sigh. “They always find something wrong and are going to give you a tongue lashing. Just ignore them. You always do everything right. I assume you aren’t going to cry if they yell at you?”

Yamato shook his head and smiled.

“I’ve tried to tell them off for being rude to my employees and made them pay every fee I could think of, but they still come back.” Iruka pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a few moments. “Their dogs are alright, but dealing with the family is a nightmare.”

“I’ll be alright,” Yamato said.

Iruka did his best to clear the lobby of employees before the Jias arrived. And when they did, Yamato brought out the dogs with a smile on his face despite the instant criticism about the collars not being on the right buckle, the leashes being clipped improperly, and the subpar grooming.

Iruka did his best to be a buffer, but there was only so much he could do.

Yamato handed over Xi-feng’s leash following the latest disapproval, same smile plastered on his face, and then looked one of Jia family members dead in the eye. Iruka watched the owner begin to shrivel and back up in fear when Yamato’s face began to darken.

“Thank you for coming to Konoha Kennels,” Yamato said pleasantly despite the horrifying look on his face. “I hope you enjoyed visiting today. Have a nice week.”

The Jias all but fled. Iruka began to laugh once the door shut.

“Is that another special ability you possess?” he asked. “Intimidation through scary faces?”

Yamato shrugged. “I have no problem trying to control people trough fear. Hopefully the Jias are more inclined to behave next time they’re here.”

“I’ll just make sure _you’re_ here next time,” Iruka countered. “That was terrifying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed chapter nine, drop a kudo or comment to let V know.
> 
> V enjoys reading the digital profiles about the dogs at her kennel: most comments are about rude owners who nit-pick everything. She is VERY thankful that she doesn’t have to work with/deal with the customers.
> 
> Does anyone know what V is referencing in this chapter? Hint: it’s not from Naruto. The answer will be revealed in Chapter 10 beginning notes. Go ahead and make a guess!
> 
> Updates will continue to be sporadic, but chapter ten will follow at some point.


	10. Walkie-Talkies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone know where the Jias and their “dogs” are from? Answer: Cao Xueqin’s Hong Lou Meng, Dream of the Red Chamber. If you ever need to be occupied with 6 months of reading, V recommends this Chinese novel. She took a college class dedicated solely to this one book and greatly enjoyed it despite the effort required to read and understand it.

Chapter 10: Walkie-Talkies

“And Kakashi’s dogs are coming in next week,” Iruka said into his walkie-talkie while he opened the door to the pool room at Konoha Kennels; he continued to look over the front page of a stack of papers held in his other hand distractedly. He paused and frowned at the walkie-talkie in his hand. “Yamato, are you even listening to me?”

Iruka waited for a response and then sighed and shook his head. He wasn’t sure when it had become routine, but once or twice a month if there was a slow night, he and Yamato would close and send all the other employees home early. Iruka gave Yamato free reign over the kennel during those nights and most of the time Yamato took on projects that would have been awkward to do during the day with people bustling around before taking care of the dogs: it took him minutes to change bulbs in hard to reach places when all he had to do was stretch up a tree limb to remove and replace the bulb while he remained firmly on the ground without needing to get a ladder.

“Yamato, are you paying attention?” Iruka continued. No answer. “You know, I don’t tell you these things for my health. I happen to like people around me being informed of the happenings at the kennel.”

No reply. The walkie-talkie screeched and then let out a few chirps. Iruka grumbled and glared at the transmitter before shifting it to his back pocket. He turned down the volume and then returned his attention to his papers while the water in the pool continue to lap gently at the walls. Maybe Konohal Kennels should invest in better walkie-talkies?

A gentle breeze ghosted against the back of Iruka’s neck and the man dropped his arm and with the papers still held in his hand. He sighed loudly and closed his eyes.

“Yamato, or Kakashi, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, don’t sneak up-”

Iruka didn’t get to finish. Something slammed against his side and sent him flying into the pool. He landed on his side and was momentarily stunned from the impact. He sucked in a mouthful of water and was just on the verge of panic before remembering all he needed to do was simply. Stand. Up. The pool was four feet deep.

It took Iruka a moment to get both feet under himself. Aside from the shock of suddenly being tossed into the air and landing on something hard (who knew water could feel so hard? Iruka could already feel his side bruising), he wasn’t used to swimming in clothes or shoes. The pool felt oddly slippery beneath his feet, and Iruka stood, coughed, and then attempted to move the wet strands of hair plastered across his face before he was knocked off his feet for the second time that night.

Iruka’s head bounced against the bottom of the pool and both of his hands went to the wrists of whoever was currently trying to strangle him under the water. It was impossible to get his feet planted against the pool floor, and there were too many bubbles, and Iruka was thrashing, trying to get away from the pressure around his throat and get up, get to _air_.

He was going to die in a pool less than four feet deep. A dog pool. And no one would even know what happened or why because the security cameras were still off for Yamato. Poor Yamato. He’d be the most likely person to find Iruka. What would happened to him? Would ANBU force him to start a new life somewhere else?

Iruka felt a gentle pressure wrap about each leg and move upward. And then he was suddenly pulled out of the water and suspended above the pool. Iruka hacked and rubbed at his neck and belatedly realized that he was enveloped up in one of Yamato’s branches.

“Are you alright?”

Iruka nodded and looked down at where Yamato was crouched on the matted floor surrounding the pool, right hand bracing his left arm which was engulfed in wood. The man looked a little worse for wear: there were holes in his clothes and a bloody trail led from Yamato to one of the pool doors. Iruka couldn’t see any obvious injuries, but the red stain under Yamato and the mats was slowly spreading outward.

“I’m alright,” Yamato called. “The floor’s wet, it makes everything look worse than it is.”

Iruka noticed that the trunk of the limb holding him split near the floor into another section; the second branch remained impaled through a cloaked and armored body which was apparently still alive judging by the squirming and attempts to free itself from Yamato’s grip despite being held above the floor.

“What happened?” Iruka managed to croak out.

“Direct frontal assault.” Yamato’s focus remained on the body, but he cocked his head slightly. “His partner came in through the front doors,” he simplified. “She shattered them to pieces and tried to kill me.”

“Tried?”

“She was skilled, but I was better.” A hint of pride colored Yamato’s voice.

Iruka squirmed when the branches wrapped about him began to fan out. “Yamato, what are you do-”

“Where’s the last one of you?” Yamato demanded while the branch impaled through the body began to widen and ever so slowly expand the hole. “Most teams work in threes.”

No response. Just more gargled breathing.

Iruka resisted the urge to panic when he was encased in a ball of wood. The branches wrapped around him retreated but one remained about his chest.

“Yamato, what the hell are you doing?” Iruka asked the darkness.

The he heard a number of somethings impact his wooden shell. He tentatively reached a hand out and felt a pointed tip. Tips.

“Yamato, what the hell is going on?” Iruka did his best to shout.

He could hear muffled noises coming from outside, noises which sounded like some type of battle of happening. The branch wrapped about his chest tightened until it was nearly uncomfortable. Iruka clawed at it, and then splinters be damned, began to tear at the pointed objects lodged in the wood until they fell out, leaving small holes behind. The wood shell wasn’t as thick as Yamato’s usual barriers, and for that, Iruka was thankful. Once he could wedge his fingers in the holes, all it took was some muscle to begin breaking the shield piece by piece as the wood flexed and then snapped under the pressure Iruka applied.

It seemed to take only seconds for Iruka to widen one of the holes into something he could look out of. Fingers cut and bloodied, he gripped the edge of the hollow and hauled himself forward despite the limb that tried to keep him in place inside the shield.

“Stop squirming!” Iruka heard Yamato roar.

Iruka only managed a glimpse of the pool room before the branch about his chest yanked him back and the hole was filled with more wood.

If Iruka had seen correctly, the skirmish would be finished soon: a third massive limb had been weaving its way around the enclosed space after a third and presumably final assailant with a masked Kakashi who seemed to have somehow glued himself _upside-down_ to Yamato’s branch.

“Did it ever occur to you,” Yamato ground out while the wooden shield around Iruka began to fold back like a flower, “That maybe staying inside the shell might have been to your benefit? That maybe its purpose was to keep you from getting stuck full of kunai?”

“Sorry,” Iruka apologized once he was safely on the floor and the branch around him had withdrawn. “I… panicked?”

“I think you were just trying to be nosy,” Kakashi interjected. He looked around the pool room. “My, my, my, what a mess.”

Bodies, blood, and broken bits of… well, everything. Iruka didn’t even want to know what the lobby looked like.

“What I am going to tell everyone tomorrow?”Iruka lamented.

“Windstorm,” Yamato and Kakashi suggested simultaneously.

Iruka merely groaned. “You two _would_ have a plausible cover story ready. Is Yamato going to leave some branches lying around?”

“Yes.” Yamato looked at Iruka. “You should, uh, go wash your hands. And change your clothes.”

Iruka looked down: he was soaked.

“Then you can finish closing. Kakashi and I will help once we clean up everything” Yamato continued. “You’re sure you’re alright?”

“If I catch pneumonia in the next few days, we’ll know why.” Iruka sighed, coughed, and then began to walk away. He paused and then rounded on Kakashi. “Where did you even come from?”

“I was around.”

Iruka resisted the urge to throw up his hands. Instead, they flopped against his wet pants. He winced at the pain.

“If you have any splinters,” Kakashi said, “Tenzo’s fantastic about getting them out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed chapter ten, drop a kudo or comment to let V know.
> 
> V doesn't have any more to add to Konoha Kennels, so the final chapter will follow soon!


	11. No Cats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without further ado, the final chapter of Konoha Kennels.

Chapter 11: No Cats

Yamato sighed and continued down the aisle. “I’m still not sure about this. Why didn’t Kakashi bully you into this first, Iruka?”

Iruka shrugged and crouched by a kennel. “Not sure. Kakashi?”

“You seem more like a dog person than Iruka, Tenzo,” Kakashi explained as he looked at a different kennel.

Yamato looked flabbergasted. “Iruka runs and own a dog kennel! I’m a gardener!”

“For a few more days,” Iruka reminded. He got up and moved to the next cage at the animal shelter. “I’m switching you from fulltime gardener and handyman to part-time.”

“And the other part-time?” Kakashi asked.

“He’s going to be my official floater,” Iruka explained as he looked at the dogs barking and jumping at the kennel doors. “When he’s not busy being useful with plants, he’s going to help out where it’s needed the most since he’s proven to be so good at multitasking.”

“I don’t understand why that means I have to get a dog,” Yamato said.

“Five-dollar daycare,” Iruka suggested. “And Kakashi promised to help you train it. I think it might be good for you to interact with something other than your plants at home. You do seem a bit reclusive.”

Kakashi snickered. Yamato pointedly ignored him and continued looking at the dogs.

“Maybe I should just get a cat instead,” he thought aloud. “They’re so much easier than dogs.”

“No, I’m a dog trainer, not a cat trainer,” Kakashi said. “No cats.”

“Fulltime ANBU, part-time dog trainer?” Iruka said in an undertone with a smirk.

Yamato continued down the row.

“How am I even supposed to know which dog to get?” he asked. “You’re the expert, Captain.”

“You’ll get The Look,” Kakashi explained. “That’s how I got all my dogs.”

“And what exactly is The Look?” Yamato asked.

“You’ll know it when you see it,” Kakashi hummed. “Just keep looking.”

“Why don’t you get another dog instead of me?” Yamato grumbled.

“Kakashi’s a repeat failed foster,” Iruka said. “Isn’t that right?”

Kakashi nodded. “I have a habit of adopting the dogs I foster.”

Yamato shook his head. “Who are going to keep this time?”

“No one,” Kakashi promised. “I’m helping to train a therapy dog. Her name is Katsuya and she’ll be assisting Doctor Haruno. Remember her, Tenzo? Sakura? Pink hair? Punched through a wall when you accidentally told her you didn’t always clean your wounds before stitching them?”

Yamato shuddered and then paused by a kennel. Kakashi and Iruka watched the man apparently stare down a dog before he shifted away. And then went back to the same dog. Before walking away. And going back.

“This one,” Yamato said suddenly. “It’s The Look.”

Iruka and Kakashi approached. Iruka glanced at the dog before looking at the information card.

“Treeing Walker Coonhound,” he read. “No name yet.”

“Yukimi,” Yamato supplied almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V likes tree puns. Poor Tenzo.
> 
> V doesn’t own a Treeing Walker Coonhound, but she does own a Plott Hound mix. (And two cats.)
> 
> Much thanks to everyone who has left kudos or commented! V hopes that any anonymous readers enjoyed following along. She was nervous to post her (crack) fanfiction but is very happy she did! Thanks again for reading!!


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